Career Development Plan - Misunderstood and Lonely

by Larisa
(Carmel, CA, USA)

Career Development Plan - Misunderstood and Lonely

Remember Larisa? I wrote to you back in March (Career Development Plan-School of American Ballet?) Lately I've been feeling that I'm too fat for classical ballet. I'm 12 years old and I'm 4'11 tall and I weigh 91 lbs. People say that's average, but my thighs stick out of my leotard, and I feel short and fat next to this girl in my class at school who dances with me and who is 65 lbs. Because of this, all my friends say to my face that she's a better dancer than I am and I'll never have a career. I try to shake it off, but inside it hurts so much. A lot of days I just feel like crying and I feel depressed. Am I overweight for a dancer? She's a favorite of all my dance teachers, so I barely get any attention. My parents think I'm being a drama queen and refuse to listen to me. There's no one I can turn to and I feel so alone. There's no one behind me to support me. To cap matters, I've just been accepted into a 5 week summer program but I can only go if I board there, which my mother absolutely refuses to do. I feel so alone and misunderstood :...(
Please help me


Reply by Odette

Career Development Plan - Misunderstood and Lonely

Hello Larisa,

Thank you for contacting me, it is great to hear from you.

I am sorry to hear you are feeling unhappy at the moment. It is completely normal to feel these emotions of loneliness and sadness. But what you have to do is not let these feelings get the better of you. You have to stay strong and always remind yourself of the positive things you have achieved.

Please read my Seven Secrets again! Read them everyday and really focus on applying each of these secrets to yourself. So, do not compare yourself to others, especially when it comes to bodies and physique. You must remember, we all have a unique body so we will look different to the person standing next to us.

As hard as it may be, try to overcome those feelings thinking you are fat. Every person, even non-dancers, get bothered about their body, but these negative thoughts do nothing but bring you self-esteem down even further. Body image as a dancer is a very conscious element, but dancers have to remember they are also athletes. You have to be strong and lean with a considerable amount of energy.

Have a healthy, balanced diet full of nutritious foods with plenty of fruit and vegetables. Eating complex carbohydrates such as jacket potatoes, pasta and brown bread are good at supplying energy and keeping you fuller for longer. Drink plenty of water, aim to drink 2 litres a day. Green tea is very good for you too. A healthy diet combined with good exercise can keep you in fine shape for classical ballet.

It is not fair that your friends are saying such hurtful things to you, but you have to stay strong and not let their words affect you. Just ignore their immature comments and they will soon tire out and move to pick on someone else. Perhaps they are doing it because they are jealous of you? So, do not let them win but let it spur you on to be more determined.

As for the summer program and boarding situation, try talking to your mother and explain your excitement to go on the course. How do you feel about boarding? If you feel confident that you will be ok and not too homesick, then reassure your mom that you are prepared to board.

However, if your mom says no then try not to be too disheartened. Think about how great it is that you even got accepted on the course! This is a great achievement! There will be more opportunities, so do not worry.

I am always here to answer your worrries, so do not feel alone. Keep positive and treasure those seven secrets!

All the best,


ps. To become the best dancer you can be, learn the Seven Secrets ..... go to my 'Seven Secrets of Ballet' page

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